The older I get, I have more of a propensity to write things down. Not just write them down, but really tell the depths of my thoughts, memories, and experiences. I have always been a memory keeper and a writer, unto myself, never seeking glory or accolades for it, just the overwhelming need to document my life. Ask me if I have finished any of the projects I have started… I guess that says something about me as well. All of life speaks for itself , if you listen closely enough.
There’s thousands of photos on old hard drives to go through, just of my boys and their lives, our lives, waiting to be printed and written about. Photography was a natural evolvement for me.
It chose ME.
I also have boxes in the basement that are filled with papers,folders,words, about my Rievley family heritage. There are countless journals I have bought in excitement of getting my thoughts to paper, only to be used once or twice and then buy a new one to write new words in. (Why do I continue to buy journals and not fill them, I don’t know. I think it has something to do with compartmentalization.) "I will buy this orange one to tell of my love affairs, the black one to write random sayings down,” and then I am consistent with NOT filling the pages! Ha.
“To be able to take my pictures I have to look, all the time, at the people and places I care about. And I must do so with both warm ardor and cool appraisal, with the passion of both eye and heart, but in that ardent heart there must also be a splinter of ice.”
- Sally Mann/ Hold Still
I can definitely relate to having to be looking, all the time at the people and places I love. Observation.The looking is more of a pausing in the moment, stepping back, and viewing what is before me with a different mindset than the one I am currently in. For instance, as a mother, grocery shopping with 3 kids in tow is a grueling task and not for the faint of heart. My mindset is firmly attached on getting groceries,keeping the kids from aggravating each other, not losing any kids along the way and of course staying on budget - all while looking like I’ve got my shit together. My mind is definitely not on the nostalgic feelings that I will have one day over this exact moment of chaos in my life. But, I have trained myself to press the pause button and live in that exact moment of the beauty and the chaos, because I have come to learn that they are intricately woven together. And if I do listen, I can hear that soft whisper rising from the echoes of my own childhood heart say, “This matters. These small seemingly insignificant things matter to their little hearts! Listen. Feel.” And then I have to close my eyes, let go of the the logical and take hold of that idyllic string of life that is about to pass before me, grab hold and let it pull me to the surface, emerging with a new mindset. One that sees magic in a facial expression, a touch, a word, a tear… I can then hear the song playing in their hearts. That’s when I take the picture, when I see differently. They are the same, it is ME who walks away transformed. No longer carrying the heavy burdens of motherhood, but actually enjoying it and soaking it in. Photography has helped me to see that there is magic all around us, all the time, there for the taking - you only need to look for it.
So this week, I implore you to stop and observe your life from the perspective of someone who is watching your life unfold like a movie. Be an observer in your own life. When the good feelings arise, right it down and then write why it made you feel good. These can be simple sentences, " Today I noticed how the sun lights my living room in the afternoon. It made me feel good because the light filtering in looked magical. I could see the dusty floaters in the air and it reminded me of pixie dust and my childhood."
Then grab your camera/phone/polaroid and take the picture.