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Learning + Unlearning

I am still documenting Motherhood + Artist, Ashley Addair. It will be on going until it isn’t. I am both an artist + mom myself and I know that they share in grittiness + beauty, good days + hard days,( weeks,months, years) of digging deeper into self. The duality of it is mesmerizing. I am learning that you can be a Mom + and an artist without sacrificing either.

Ashley is a very involved mom, however, her approach is hands off. She lets them explore and figure things out on their own. I wish I had done more of that. Problem solving is the ONLY tool in the backpack of life that can be applied to every situation- relationships, art, finances, planning adventures, just basic detours that life and art bring. But,especially art, which is why Bob calls them “happy accidents”. I can’t tell you how many times I thought I should draw something one way and "messed it up" only to realize the mess up was much better than my original idea!

I am Unlearning the idea that in motherhood you must give your child your full attention all day strong + deny yourself any pleasures that don’t pertain to them. What a skewed view. However, this is what was expected of me + encouraged in my marriage. I must deny myself and live only for my children and their needs. I longed to do both but would feel guilty 90% of the time when I was creating. (guilt can just eff!) I did do crafts with my kids, but I did not incorporate them into MY art world. Ashley does and it is beautiful to watch her create and them sidle up beside her to do the same. She doesn’t give rules, or tell them what to make or even how to do it -she allows their curiosity to take over and lets them make whatever they want. No rules. And do you know what that does? It allows Ashley to make meaningful work + create WITH her children. It’s not separate. She is art and art is her. The whole house is one big art studio. It’s beautiful. I want more of that in my life. I tend to keep my art separate from everything else. It is mine. It is my space to just be ME in. That’s not a bad thing. Sometimes we need things that are just ours, however, to share those parts of you with people you love, it becomes more of a oneness instead of a duality, and there is something so damn beautiful about it.

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Another beautiful look at the heart of a talented writer, mother, artist ❤️


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