I am sitting outside my son’s middle school, waiting for my cutie pie of an 8th grader to get out for the day. It is the first time that I have had a moment to myself and its 3 p.m. (Shout out to all Momma’s out there in the car rider lines.)
My brain instantly goes to work thinking of what I could do with this quiet. I can a.) leave the radio on and mindless scroll social media, b.) turn it all off and close my eyes for a little nappie nap, or c.) I can use the time to put my thoughts to paper.
All three are considered to be self care, just some help my mental health while others postpone it.
The sun is streaming in from the passenger window and I feel myself akin to a cat lying in the only sun spot on the floor, with no cares in the world, just being.
Sunshine is my friend too, she makes me feel like all is right in my world. Without it, I’d wither and die like the plants.
Plants transform light energy into chemical energy in order to grow, thrive, produce.
Same.
If I have ample sun and water on the daily, I can take on just about any problem I am presented with. Did you know there are 4 types of energy that humans have?
*Physical energy - how healthy are you?
*Emotional energy - how happy are you?
*Mental energy - how well can you focus on something?
*Spiritual energy- why are you doing all of this?
Whether we realize it or not, we, as humans, are emitting energy. What kind of energy we are emitting is based on how much care, or lack thereof, that we have put into ourselves. These 4 things have become my “markers of success” - Not how much money I am making, or how good my art is, or how much I am loved. Rather, it is a checking in on myself to make sure I am taking care of the WHOLE of me. And I have found that what I thought was self care was actually a variation masked in self indulgence.
I needed the self indulgence after going without it for so long. (which happens a lot during motherhood when you don’t have good support system/partner).
Self indulgence was ok for a time, but now it just wasn’t working for me anymore. I was forced by untamed emotions and endless thoughts to get quiet and listen to what it is that I needed in order to love myself, my life, and those around me well. And at first it felt like failure. Why wasn’t my old system working anymore? Was it me? Was it the people in my circle? I even had my bloodwork checked! (It did come back low B12 (extremely low) and even lower vitamin D.) But what I also learned is that I need at least 3 wins everyday to help stimulate my inner self.
a physical win, walking, running, dancing, yoga, roller skating
a mental win, reading, writing, creating, learning, connecting
a spiritual win, praying, meditating, studying, growing.
This alignment is key to my health. The whole health of me.
I realize we all live on these “to do” lists, and at the end of the day we are measuring our success vs. failure, based on if those lists are completed.
Why are we doing this? Why are we regulating our emotional state of mind based on a list of external pressures and not on our inner world? If we have a deep inner world, we will have endless resources to draw upon during challenging times. It enables us to navigate hardship with a clearer head and we also know our boundaries and capabilities very well, too!
It’s complete insanity that we, as a whole, have accepted that we are successful only when our external list is done. I am flipping that script and making sure my inner self is ALSO taken care of. I am tired of the external leaving me depleted and feeling like zoning out on t.v. and mindless scrolling is sufficient for self care. I am done telling myself that, “I deserve it after all I’ve done.” That’s not a reward system -that’s called apathy. The cyclical mode for survival but not really living.
“ DON’T LIVE THE SAME YEAR 75 TIMES AND CALL IT A LIFE” - Robin Sharma
I implore you to find your markers of success for daily life. It may not look like mine, or hers, or his, just find yours and lean into it. Your future self will thank you. Your kids will thank you. Your partner will thank you. Because now you are emitting positive energy around you and they can feel it. You are creating a new atmosphere around you!
{ Sometimes we need to lose focus in order to gain focus on what REALLY matters.}
This sticker of Lose Focus is available for purchase too! A gentle reminder I made for myself. I am still setting up a shop but in the meantime, just message me and I can mail it out - cost of sticker is $3.50